✞ My Own Words Could Never Save Me ✞
Anonymous said: Hey just read your post and i think you're amazing for posting something that hurtful to even write let alone open it up to the world, i'm currently helping my friend louise through almost the same thing and she too seems broken, lost and empty. I know i'm a stranger but i just wanna say i'm proud of you as one human to another and i hope you find peace in this world x
This genuinely made me cry haha. It means so much to have something like this said to me by a stranger.
Keep helping your friend, be there for her, she needs it. Don’t give up. Remind her everyday she’s worth more. And you stay strong too.
Victims go back to their abusers because the abusers have convinced them that the abuse is their fault. “Baby why do you make me hit you” may be a joke, but it’s also an incredibly accurate description of the relationship. From the victims’s point of view they are with a person who loves them so, so much, and wants them to be happy, and wants to be good to them, but they (the victim) are such a bad, useless, stupid, worthless, annoying person that their loving partner can’t help but get angry and abuse them.
Physical abuse is only half the battle. The other half is constant belittling and insults. (Are you really going to go out like that? Why do you think they want to hang out with you? Haven’t you bothered your friend enough this week? Can’t you do anything right?) The victim is constantly self-conscious and doubtful of themselves. But most importantly, they are so, so thankful that they have a partner who is willing to look past their avalanche of shortcomings and love them anyway. They have found a person who is one-in-a-million and without them, they will be alone forever because they are such an awful person.
Calling the cops just reinforces that. “You let him back into the house? Christ you make bad decisions. Haven’t you got any brains? What’s wrong with you?” Because of this she will cling harder to the man who, despite her failings, stays by her side. Even if he does smack her around a bit.
The best thing to do to help a victim is to support them. Remind them every day that they are strong and capable and wonderful people. Keep inviting them out even if they are a drag and even if they always bail. Remind them that people DO want them around and do want to spend time with them because they are worth it."