✞ Above the noise i'll scream and cry, I'll push myself to feel alive ✞
They’ll manipulate you and make you fall so deeply in love with them so you’ll forgive them for anything. The nights he didn’t come back until god knows what time in the morning, with no text or call. It breaks your heart thinking he could be with some other girl, but when he comes back and you get more bruises because you said something wrong, or refused to do something, it kills you inside. You’re so ready to leave him and you’re close but he’ll make up some excuse. He’ll make it sound like it was your fault and you’ll forgive him. It’ll start all over again. The times where you’re in public and you’re so terrified of doing something wrong because you know what will happen when you get home. When you flinch at the tiniest movement, whether it be him or somebody else. The feeling of constantly looking over your shoulder. Constantly apologising for your actions and being so terrified you feel sick.
The worst thing is looking in the mirror and seeing the bruises he’s made. Not recognising yourself. Trying to cover it all up with makeup. Your friends faces when they see the marks he’s left, it breaks your heart yet you still try to cover up for him. Because you (think you) love him.
It’s so hard leaving him despite all he’s done to you, because he’s manipulated you in a way that makes you think you cant leave him. You’re nothing without him, you’re nobody. You need him.
I thought I needed you.